Helping others?

I guess it is something any advanced thinking and self actualised person wants to do. It is also a reason for why I see many of our members fail in their fitness, health and lifestyle improvement programs.

Let me explain.

I can talk only for men in this situation so please bear with me. It is in our nature, rightly or wrongly, to take on responsibility to ‘provide’, and often self sacrifice is worn as a badge of honour. Whilst this is very noble in a lot of ways it can also be misguided. As men we don’t verbalise so well so we often internalise the struggle. You know, the ‘strong silent type’. This is a huge mistake and often does not give our partners the respect they deserve in allowing them to join in and help us deal with this thing called ‘life’. We also deny them chance of offering the support that is intrinsically part of being a team and for us to get the help we often need. My experience on this planet has taught me that women, as a general rule (geez you have got to be careful these days!) are great at nurturing and want us to communicate more. So we should do that and it is a win win!!

The main point here is that men need to invest in themselves when it comes to health before thinking about helping anybody else, because we are no use when we are sick and unhealthy. I have written about the concept before. It is fantastic to help others and very altruistic indeed, but it simply ain’t going to happen if you don’t get your priorities right – you will end up running yourself and your relationships into the ground. This goes back to your values and it is amazing how much clarity you can get when you use this as your filter for your actions. If men get this right, you will see their partner happy to work around this priority of health and the issue of ‘not having time’ gets managed. Just think, how many women want an unhealthy partner anyway? But they have to know about it to able to contribute. So we gotta talk guys! Secondly, a healthy, strong, fit and well rested person is infinitely more likely to surprise his wife with extra help when she needs it or be involved in random acts of kindness in general. If keeping your partner happy while being able to contribute to society is something you would like to achieve then you know what to do now.

Call me biased and perhaps even overly simplistic but personal health and fitness is THE starting point for just about all positive behaviours, including helping others. When you feel good about yourself you want others to feel it too and putting time into others takes energy, which is easy to invest when you have plenty yourself! Moral of the story: investing in yourself before others is key.

 

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